Even if you’ve been sleeping under a rock, you’ve heard all about Hurricane Sandy. Some may call it Frankenstorm, but we call it for what it is…a major annoyance and crimpin’ of our style. Well, we’re looking out for you, so we decided to do our part and get you ready for the storm. We’ve created top-ten lists of things to do during Hurricane Sandy and what to eat.
Top 10 Things to Do During Hurricane Sandy
10) Have a blind smell contest of all the Yankee Candles that you have burning. The winner to identify the most scents gets to take the candle of their choice.
9) Make shadow puppets, specifically dogs that go nom nom nom as their mouths move.
8) Take bets on when power will go out in your neighborhood.
7) Turn on the news and do a shot or take a drink every time a newscaster says, “Stay with us for more up to date information on Hurricane Sandy.”
6) Play a drinking game where you drink whenever you want because there’s nothing else to do.
5) Take out your bow and arrow and go hunting for raccoons, rats, and squirrels to BBQ.
4) Start your own zombie apocalypse and roam the streets groaning, “Brainnnnsssss.” Don’t get shot, though.
3) Play Scattergories and see who can get the most points for naming non-perishable, ready-to-eat food items.
2) Post on Facebook and Twitter about how you have power while your friends have had no power for the past ten days and can’t check your dumb status updates. Then, anger them so much that they unfriend you and unfollow you, hunt you down, then destroy you.
Top 10 Foods to Eat During Hurricane Sandy
10) Fire up the bbq and make some s’mores.
9) Pop Tarts: preferably the brown sugar and cinnamon flavor. If you don’t like frosting on your Pop Tarts, we want nothing to do with you.
8) Open that can of Spam, light up that automatic match stick, then make some crispy meat product steaks.
7) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It doesn’t get better than this, people.
5) Cook the raccoons, rats, and squirrels that you caught while hunting on the BBQ.
4) Buy tubs of chocolate frosting then lick them clean, one by one.
3) Get your coffee and espresso fix at Espresso NEAT in Darien…they’ve got a generator that’s run purely on caffeine. Well, not really, but that would be awesome.
2) All that ice cream in your fridge will go to waste if the power goes off. Do your part to not waste and shovel it down.
2a) Upon recommendation of Whitemist, we must urge people to stock up on Twinkies. They are the cockroach of the food world, virtually indestructible.
1) Cannibalism might be immoral, but sometimes ya gots ta do what ya gots ta do to survive. Make sure to use Bobby Q’s sauce on the rib meat, though.