Anonymous Alcoholics: A Discreet Cocktail Subscription Service

1 Apr



The subscription service to end all subscription services . . .


We’re no stranger to subscription services. We’re Amazon Prime junkees, have weekly deliveries from Fresh Direct, and can’t get enough of our Blue Apron meals. So, when a new subscription service reached out to us we were all ears . . . especially when they told us there was alcohol involved.

That service: Anonymous Alcoholics. Each month, week, or day (depending on the plan you purchase) they’ll send you out a new cocktail kit to try along with all the liquor you need (with plenty more to spare).


Shipments come in plain, ordinary boxes so no one will know what’s inside!

The service was tested last year in certain parts of NYC and was met with such amazing success they decided to rollout into parts of Fairfield County, Connecticut and parts of New Jersey. The idea was to take away the stigma of getting blank stares as people go to the liquor store for the third time that week. “I want people to feel comfortable, like they aren’t being judged by anyone. It’s just not fair, there’s nothing wrong with having a drink after a long day.”

As as mentioned, Anonymous Alcoholics offers differing levels depending on how much you’d like to imbibe . . . and how much you’d like to avoid sneers from your neighbors, kid’s teachers, coworkers, etc. at the liquor store. As their slogan goes, “No one needs to know your drinking problems.”  The basic level package, which they creatively call “The My Job Sucks Package,” gets you delivery once a month featuring 2 bottles of liquor (or whatever the recipe calls for) and enough ingredients, shrubs, syrups and such to mix up enough drinks for 2 people each week. Or for just you . . . in one day. Whatever, as we said, it’s not our business.

But, if you need a little more than that, you can order their weekly package, called “My Boss/Spouse/Parent/Etc. Is Nagging Me Again” that gets you 3 drinks a week for 2 people. And, the ultimate package, called “Why Do We Have 3 Ungrateful Little Brats for Children Package” is the daily delivery service that helps you get your drink on anonymously  and discreetly seven days a week. In the odd occasion that there will be a holiday with no deliveries, Anonymous Alcoholics will double up your shipment so that you can drink all the way through your days off, and they have special holiday packages like “Dealing with In-laws” and “Alone (Again) for the Holidays.”

We were sent a monthly shipment just to try things out and received a bottle of mezcal, ancho pepper simple syrup, mango, tequila, a juicy pink grapefruit, club soda, and some fresh lime. Like Blue Apron, you get instructions that take you through making the drink step by step. In the end, we had two amazing drinks: a citrusy and spicy Mezcal Mango that we rimmed with an ancho salt that was included and an amazingly fresh Paloma. The great thing, too, is that we had enough drinks to last us a few days throughout the week (it would have lasted longer but we did have a tough week).

Pricing is pretty simple with a steal of a deal at $60 for your monthly shipment plus $15 shipping and handling. But, the more you order, the more they reward you. If you order a weekly shipment the cost goes down to $50 per shipment and they waive the shipping and handling. The ultimate deal, though, is the daily delivery at a staggering $40 per shipment with no shipping and handling at all, because let’s face it, if this is the package you’re ordering, you could use the break.

The rollout into Fairfield County will begin just prior Memorial Day weekend, when drinking season really kicks off. We’ll keep you posted as the website launches and signups begin!  In the meantime, cheers ya lushes!

3 Responses to “Anonymous Alcoholics: A Discreet Cocktail Subscription Service”

  1. trzesniewskinator November 6, 2016 at 9:44 pm #

    Awesome post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. talkavino April 2, 2016 at 1:09 am #

    Excellent! Happy April Fools!


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